My ideal man and relationship

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

As per request...

Since I was a little girl, I have been dreaming about my Prince Charming (like every other girl). Every tale had a Knight in shining armor, but a knight in shining armor never had his metal/mettle tested. 

My ideal man:

• Must have a sense of humor the same as mine, so we can laugh together.
• Trust, trust, TRUST!!!! 
• Must be confident and trusting of me. If I am in the relationship, I will not cheat.
• Must have an EQ (Emotional Intelligence).
• Must treat his family and pets in a nice way, it says a lot about the person how they treat pets and family.
• Must spoil me in non-expensive ways. ( Show up at my residence with coffee, write love letters, cut my bread/pancakes in heart-shapes, make me dinner, sing to me, even if he is false)

1. Expensive gifts has no effect on me and will not win me over.
2. My love language is Affection- win me over with affection.

• Time. He and I must always make time for each other. It will be called US-TIME!
• Looks do not matter! Looks won't make me happy or keep me warm at night.
• He must be chivalrous. And no, chivalry is not dead! Opening doors and those little details, do indeed count.
• He must adore me.
• He must be my best friend, as well as my man.

My ideal relationship:

1. Do fun stuff together.
2. Never have a hassle to make time for one another.
3. Have inside jokes and lots of them.
4. Spoil each other without expecting something back.
5. Be able to talk openly with each other about everything.
6. Must enjoy life.
7. Have a easy-going attitude about life and love and be CHILLED!
8. We must be able to talk for hours about everything and nothing.
9. We must love each other in spite of our faults and differences.
10. And they lived happily ever after...

THE END.

Also, read my post-Experiences on dating

Please feel free to leave a comment :)

What is abuse?

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Soapbox Saturday.

Everyday on campus I see different forms of abuse. I see it when couples are fighting, when I hear about arguments my friends and their boyfriends had.

Abuse doesn't come in just a physical abuse form, but in many other forms. I read this wonderful article that defined most of the forms, which abuse comes in. Things abusers say and do. Click on this link to see the article.

SPCA- Beautiful poodle saved from abusive home

Abuse is not okay! The person who is abusing you will not change! EVER! No matter what they promise or do, a leopard never changes its spots. I speak out of experience and I definitely got the T-shirt.

If you are in an abusive relationship or know someone who is, here is Contacts to assist you.

Please feel free to leave a comment :)

Afraid in your own home

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Super Girl to the rescue

A few months ago, people broke into our house and stole a lot of things. After that, alarm systems and many other security measures were put into place in the house. But still with all these security measures, I still feel unsafe in our house

Yesterday, they broke in next door. I had a bad gut feeling the whole day. Then I heard a glass window break, but didn’t think too funny about it, because the people who live behind us, were drilling and hitting in nails in the walls, which made a huge noise. I thought they accidentally broke a window.

Later on we heard that they stole a lot of things next door, and I slept restlessly last night, because of all the worry.

All the creaks and noises of the house makes one jump and suspicious. Is it normal to feel scared in your own home. Is it normal to feel like one lives in a jail and yet still feel scared. 

How NOT to fall asleep in class

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

It is sometimes very hard NOT to fall asleep in class, especially when your lecturer/professor has a one tone voice or they are simply just boring. I still struggle with staying awake in class and my Creative Writing professor started calling me Sleeping Beauty.

My tired roommate after a good night out

Here are some tips to try and stay awake:

• Take ice cold water with you to class and drink it when you are starting to fall asleep.
• Eat in apple in class. It has the same effect as caffeine.
• Try to write down every single word the lecturer/professor says, if they are slow it will be easy, if they talk fast, good luck!
• Stare at someone in your class, until they look back and continue staring. See how long it takes to creep them out or make them shift in their seat. If they continue staring at you, ABORT MISSION!
• Ask irrelevant questions and see how the lecturer reacts.
• Try and draw your lecturer, no matter how bad you are.
• Text everyone you know in class and see who forgot to put their phone on silent.
• Click your pen to irritate people and see who tells you to stop first.
• Hum your favorite tune and enjoy the dirty looks.
• If this didn't help, take a nap. The lecturer must then be really boring!

The things I learnt in my residence

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Open day at the residence

I stay in a very awesome hostel/residence. From my first year, up until now, I have learned a lot about staying in a residence.

• You get one toilet roll per week. TOILET ROLLS ARE GOLDEN! If you accidentally forget them in the bathroom, they will be gone by the time you go looking for them.
• Silence is not golden.
• It is totally acceptable to walk in pajamas all day long or slip into your pajamas any time of the day.
• Bathing is too much cleaning work (because people don't clean after themselves) and it takes too long to take a bath. SHOWER INSTEAD.
• The walls are thin. Watch what you say and keep your music down or you will have angry neighbors.
• There will be someone studying the same as you, so get yourself a study buddy to make things a bit easier.
• Buy some earplugs for noisy nights, when you would like to get some quality sleep.
• You will have a lot of friends, who stay in the residence, so doing projects can sometimes be hard when they pop in the whole time, get a lock for your door or a DO NOT DISTURB SIGN.
• Keep your room tidy, because you never know, who's gonna pop in.
• Having a tidy room, makes you more positive and feel task-oriented.
• If you go to sleep before 11 pm, people will ask you if you're sick. NO ONE SLEEPS EARLY.
• Watching scary movies is not great when returning to the residence. A residence is scary by nature.
• Watching a lot of series' is acceptable.
• Being up to date with ALL the movies and series is acceptable.
• Great food is scarce, mediocre food is normal.
• Having an almost empty fridge is common and not strange. Fridges mostly contain sauces and food that no one wants to eat.
• I would not have preferred to stay anywhere else, it is so much fun to participate in activities and all the friends one makes, makes life worth the while.

Living in a residence helps one make friends easily, but you are also part of something fun. Also, check out my post Things I learnt at university.

Please feel free to leave a comment :)

About me

The face behind the blog...

Photos by Blush Studios

I am a 20 year old student, currently studying BA Communication at the North-West University of Potchefstroom in South Africa. I am very blessed to be able to study, because only 3% of the population has the privilege to study. Therefore, I will not waste my time and I will not fail any subjects (Positive thinking).

I am very passionate about reading and writing and love languages! I can read, write and speak English and Afrikaans and I can understand and speak French and Dutch.

At university I have learned a lot of things and each day I see something interesting on campus and I would love to share my experiences with everyone. I am driven to succeed and I will not fail!

I have an extremely amazing family and if I had to choose my family, I would choose them all over again. They support me in each and every way.

I also have amazing friends and they make my life so much fun and without them, I wouldn't be where I am now. 

This is just a bit in the life of a normal 20 year old student :)

The importance of time

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

I never understood the importance of time or what you can do in the time that you have, until I went to university. Miracles did happen!

Never in my life did I imagine to have 10 projects to be done in a week, but then the reality of university struck me. Sometimes one does try to prepare for the hectic week ahead, but as luck would have it, it is not always possible.

My roommate didn't have so many projects, but she had a lot of tests to prepare for. She said I am crazy to study Communication and Afrikaans, because it is hectic. Not difficult, just HECTIC!

I have typed like Speedy Gonsalez on projects, which I was only able to start the night before. 5000 word research papers are not funny to research and type in one night, but I did it. My roommate had her giggling fits,because I wake up a bit late in the mornings and then I scream and run around like a headless chicken, just to finish the project on time.

My roommate and I at the RAG-farm

I made a new '8 hour' rule for each and every day. I have 8 hours per day to work really hard, then I have 8 hours to socialize with my friends and do something else, and then I allow myself 8 hours of sleep each night. This has been working quite well for me. I suggest every student should try and live by these rules.
The 8 hours I try to spend with my friends, I really take seriously, because I believe a balance in one's life. No matter how busy or hectic, I will always make time for my friends.

I have made miracles happen with projects to get them done, but I also learned how to manage my time and get to spend with my gorgeous friends.


Please feel free to leave a comment :)

My expectations and experiences of dating

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Source unknown

This song of Natasha Beddingfield- Frogs and princes, perfectly described my experiences and expectations in the dating world.
Here are the lyrics:

"Frogs & Princes"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW8Fs6XEr-o

The in and out of dating got me all confused
I built up expectations and I'm feeling used
Seems that everybody's into fast food,
Everybody's into quick
I want some one to take the time fine dining not rushing

Now it's nearly 7:30, I'm slipping on a dress
I keep my fingers crossed, you're not like all the rest,
So when you come to pick me up come right to my door
Don't stay in your car and beep beep the horn

Baby I'm a hopeless romantic
You pick the sounds for the background to our drive into town
Baby don't be one of the traffic
Had too many nights with the wrong guys
Caught me at red lights

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

Pull up to a premire, red carpet good
You take my coat, get my chair, like I hoped you would
You're funny and your flirting is really working for me
But where it goes from here
Better wait and see

Baby I'm a hopeless romantic
You pick the view to kiss to
Make me go ooo ooo
And baby it'll all turn out tragic
And you'll push for more
Back at my front door
More than I'm ready for

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

You gotta tip the waiter, that's how it works
You cant skip the starter and go straight to desert
You've gotta pop the cork before you taste the wine

is woah,
We get hooked up but the shame is
Too much connection followed by rejections
Gonna hurt a girl 'til she learns her lesson

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

Oh, yeah yeah

Please feel free to leave a comment :)

Working in a shoe shop

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Can we please have shoes?

As a student, we discover that money does, in fact, not grow on trees. Therefore, I got myself a holiday job to pass the time of a three month holiday and to earn a bit of money.

 I have worked at this shoe shop before and retail is not the best or most fun job in the world, but at least it's money.

Most of my co-workers are black and over this period of time that I have known them, they have taught me a lot. They are teaching me Zulu and Tswana, which is a lot of fun, because when I greet the people in their home language they immediately light up and talk to me, which is not so fun ( Because so far, I only know how to greet).

We are also trading food at work. They find my food very interesting. I have eaten chicken feet (which are not bad, it just doesn't have a lot of meat) and many other things I am still learning to pronounce and spell! WATCH THIS SPACE!

They always thought that white and indian people automatically have cancer, because of our immense hairloss (when sweeping the floors, there is a lot of hair lying on the ground).

Another thing they observed is the ring on my middle finger and asked if I was married. To them wearing a ring before marriage is a curse, which means you will never find a husband. And a ring on any finger means you're married or either looking for bad luck.

They are also trying to teach me to dance. Which in my opinion is a lost cause, because I have no rhythm and will never had. It seems that they automatically have the best rhythm!

These guys are making the job worth while and I am never without a smile when they are around.

Why the name Millenium Lady?

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Enjoying our student times.

No, 'Millenium' is not spelled wrong. It was done on purpose.

 The Urban Dictionary's definition of Millenium is, "Something, preferrably involving technology, that surpasses one's expectations. You mean your car starts without anyone inside? That is so Millenium!"

Since technology is such a big part in our lives, I only saw it fit to put it in my title.

The word 'Lady' speaks for itself. I am not a teen, nor a woman. Therefore, 'Lady' described the stage of my life perfectly.

Please feel free to leave a comment :)

Bullying never stops

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

The wall of love in Paris, France.

Even as a 20 year old, I still experience bullying from people who believe they are better than the rest.

I stutter when I am stressed or in difficult situations. When I was in primary school, kids used to tease and bully me. The teachers came to my rescue and told the kids to stop.
But how long can teachers fend for a kid?

Looking back, I should've stood up for myself and not have been ashamed of stuttering. I should have ignored them or laughed at them for teasing me, because they are pathetic.

Bullying still happens. It happens in the form of seniors trying to degrade the self worth of first year students, through initiation in the hostel. It is absolutely disgusting and sad that they would lower themselves to that level. When I was a first year, the House Committee teased me because I stuttered. I had a little chat with them and they stopped.

What gain does one get to be the bully? Do you feel better about your sad life? Does it boost your self image? I will never understand it.

I believe if you consider yourself a good person, you should never look down on someone, unless you are helping them up.

Please feel free to leave a comment :)

My reconstructed family

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

My family at a breast cancer walkathon

I have a very interesting family. In this photo there is my mom, my stepdad and my half sister. My sister and I differ 15 and a half years.

I have an amazing stepdad. He came into our lives when I was 9 years old. He is the best cook, He never complains when he has to come and fetch me somewhere or has to drop me off. He is the best dad I could've ever asked for. I have also been calling him Dad since I was 15.

My mom is my inspiration in life. She is strong and independent. There is no hurdle is life, which she cannot overcome, if I was the hurdle i would scream running, because my mom is fearless. Words can never explain what a mother does for her children. My sister and I are lucky to have her. My mom also has her own blog, Momagain@40 (http://momagain40.blogspot.com/) Please check it out. My mom is also very involved in the media and social media, one day I want to grow up and be like her.

Then there is my babysister, she is 5 years old. She is the cutest and most sassiest kid I ever met. I love her to bits. She is the product of my mom and stepdad. She is also very smart and very active.

Please feel free to leave a comment :)

Eager beaver for holiday jobs

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who's the poorest of them all?"
"Students!"

I never understood it when people said that students are the poorest of them all, up until I became one of them. Counting change has become a common habit between me and my friends.

I am not a lazy person and I love to earn my own money. I had been doing holiday jobs, since I was 16. My first holiday job was at my baby sister's daycare. I had to look after kids between the ages of 6-10 years old. I was responsible for their holiday program and looking after them.

I am currently working in retail at a shoe shop. It is hard work, but I keep telling myself that it is good money to help out with my studies.

I also occasionally babysit a couple's daughter. She is a real sweetheart and she is not difficult when it comes to bedtime. In fact, when she's tired, she climbs in bed. She doesn't need bedtime stories or lullabies. She just sleeps.

This past September holiday, I worked at a festival called Aardklop. It is a Afrikaans music and culture festival. It was the most fun job I ever had. We also met a lot of local stars. See the photo above of me and Matthys Roets.

Next year, I am starting to work at my university's Reading lab. This reading lab is set in place for first year students to learn to read. The shocking thing is that people can't read anymore. This reading course is compulsory to all the first year students. You have to pass the subject, in order to get your degree. I will just be an assistant in these reading labs. I am very excited!

With these holiday jobs, I have paid for a lot of things, including a French tour to Paris.

Survival kit to university

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

At university, there are a few things which one cannot live without. Your life as a student would not last long, if you don't have these few things.

• A diary- this is the most important thing! Always right your homework down, or else you will forget. You will not remember your homework on your own, when you have 15 other projects at the same time.
• An exam pad- To scribble down everything the lecturer says. If a lecturer focuses a lot on a certain topic, pay attention! Chances are it will be in the test or exams!
• A pen- most obvious of all. A pen is needed everywhere, from writing down things, filling in forms, lending it to a cute guy. Meaning a pen is always important!
• Previous years' exam papers- You will realize that lecturers are also lazy and they LOVE to use their previous years' exam papers. Usually the only thing that changes on the paper is the date! 
• Water!- Always take water to class. It helps to keep you awake from those boring lecturers and water is also very healthy and keeps your mind going.
• Breakfast- Eat breakfast in the mornings, it helps to get your digestion going, but it is also helps to get your brain on the move and to get it bright!
• Vitamins-  After breakfast drink a few essential vitamins, like vitamin C (for immune system), Omega 3 & 6 (essential oils for the body), Calcium and Magnesium (To help keep your nails and bones strong).
• Sleep- Allow yourself at least 6 hours of sleep. Being bright and awake is better than being tired and not being able to think on your feet.

I hope these few guidelines will help to make university a lot easier.

The things that university guides will never teach you

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

I am a third and final year Communication student and in my 3 years at university, I have learned some things. There is no guide on what to expect when going to university, you sometimes have to learn by falling face first in the ground and then learn how to stand on your own two feet again.

I asked some friends and family to contribute with the things that they have learned at university, as well. Here is the list:

1. Nobody cares about the marks you got in high school, you are at university which means you are clever. (Jana) 
2. You learn that school was fun and games (Ruan)
3. Hard work really pays off (Ruan)
4. You learn to social (Ronel)
5. You also meet your best friends and who the people are that is always there for you (Ronel & Ruan)
6. You realize what subjects you really love, but still have to have the bad ones with it. (Karen)
7. Nobody cares, but if you find someone that does care: HOLD ON! (Ena)
8. It's the experiences that teaches you something at the end of the day (Mart-Mari)
9. There is no degree like a spine. Just keep on going and finish! (Ronel)
10. You'll learn dressing up is cool.(See photos above)
11. It is every man for themselves. No one will buy you free drinks, unfortunately.
12. Having a bucket list is necessary!
13. Know the titles of your lecturers, for example Dr. Blah Blah. They believe that their titles has contributed to society and they are utterly important. 
14. Alcohol is a solution. Scientifically speaking.
15. Fitting in is so 'high school' ago.
16. Yeah, it sucks doing the laundry, the dishes, making your own food and cleaning the house. Your parents are actually cool.
17. Alcohol resolves everything, except your problems. 
18. Time is precious and you should use it wisely.
19. Falling in love is not easy. But it's even harder to fall on the pavement.
20. You'll learn to eat 2 minute noodles in a thousand ways. 
21. You measure the cost of everything, by the amount of drinks you could have bought. 
22. 50% is the new 80%. Plot twist: You're not as smart as you thought.
23. Procrastination teaches you that you can do amazing things within a few hours. 
24. Cheating in tests and projects is not so cool or smart, it just shows that you're an idiot and will earn you no respect from your 'friends'.
25. Wearing pajamas is totally acceptable clothes to wear on campus, except if you have a onesie; wear that instead.
26. First years are recognizable by the fact that they try to look good at 8 in the mornings. You give up after a year.
27. Do stupid things! You won't get the chance again, because responsibility starts after university.
28. You are only young once. Carpe Diem. YOLO! Enjoy university life and stop worrying!

These are the things that my family, friends and I have learned in our university journeys. If you have learned some other things; please share them!

This is the official 101 guide to university!