What to do when a date goes SOUTH

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Has your face ever been like this on a date?

Why am I doing this to myself-face

Say what-face

You're kidding-face

This ain't gonna work-face

Kill me, you're boring-face

Yeah, so we all know that dating can be hard and that it doesn't always go the way we planned or the person was a complete ______. Fill in any word you wish.
I have had many bad dates, where I wish I had Harry Potter's invisible cloak, so I could just disappear, but unfortunately I don't.
Many times, I was forced to ditch the guy and run for it. Apparently, there are better ways of getting rid of the person. I asked a few people for their advice on what you shouldn't do on a date and I turned it around, into what you should do, when trying to get rid of your date.

What to do when the date is going SOUTH

• Honesty is the best policy: tell them you are a serial killer, it will shock them, and afterward they will run away, screaming.
• Plot your ex's death loudly in front of date (Karen du Toit)
• Urgently, jump up and scream you have to go and wash your gold fish (Leanle)
• Eat Buffalo Wings (Leanle),but I'll add: smudge it all over your face and smile with a mouthful of food.
• Spray on so much perfume, that he'll need a gas-mask.
• Have a friend on SOS-call, talking flirty to friend on phone, in front of date. (Jonanke)
• Dig for treasure in your nose. (Ruan)
• Have a few personalities, but just don't be yourself! (Francois & Ruan)
• Flirt with your waiter. (Mizan)
• 'Accidentally' get your food all over him (Mizan)
• Brag about how awesome you are. (Mauruschka)
• Forget all your manners. (Mauruschka)
• Whisper loudly all the things that your date is doing wrong and talk to him/her like nothing is wrong.
• Run into the wall and sit down like nothing happened.
• Laugh uncontrollably, when your date is quiet/saying nothing
• Tell your date that there are more squid than fish in the ocean and walk away.
• Tell them you are a hobo and just wanted free food *walk away.
• Scream at him/her that you will not change for him *run away.
• Last but definitely not least: Climb through the bathroom window and disappear

Some frogs aren't even worth kissing and you should abort mission, while you still can.

Please tell me about the bad dates you had, I would love to hear them!

Tired of kissing frogs

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

I know I'm still young, but i really am tired of kissing those damned frogs!

Today, my parents and I got talking about kissing frogs. Yes, I'm still young. No, I'm not looking for a husband to marry... YET!!!! But it is just really irritating meeting guys and very soon you realize they are the complete opposite of what you are looking for.

There is an Afrikaans saying "Elke pot het sy deksel" it means 'Every pot has its lid'. Therefore, I believe that for every person out there, there is someone who will fit perfectly with them. For the strange, there is strange. For the Mr. Beans, there are Ms. Beans who will turn into Mrs. Beans.

One of my best friends told me that she is also tired of kissing frogs. She was at a club and made eye contact with a cute stranger for almost the whole evening. She said that he was really gorgeous and was tall, dark and handsome. Later that evening he came over to where she was sitting. He started the conversation with a corny pick-up line. She got up and simply walked away. I asked her why she did it and she replied that she wasn't even willing to give this frog a try. She believes that her prince should be more creative than using a corny pick-up line, if he had used a new one or a funny one. She said that a normal 'Hello, my name is..." would also have done the trick.

I don't want to kiss any frogs, anymore. I want to meet my prince and kiss him so he stays my prince, haha! I know I'm not being realistic, but it would be really nice if it worked like that.

Well, Prince Charming, I'm waiting patiently! But please don't take too long!

This is me for a while...

*Photos were taken off the internet.

Please feel free to leave a comment :)

My ideal man and relationship

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

As per request...

Since I was a little girl, I have been dreaming about my Prince Charming (like every other girl). Every tale had a Knight in shining armor, but a knight in shining armor never had his metal/mettle tested. 

My ideal man:

• Must have a sense of humor the same as mine, so we can laugh together.
• Trust, trust, TRUST!!!! 
• Must be confident and trusting of me. If I am in the relationship, I will not cheat.
• Must have an EQ (Emotional Intelligence).
• Must treat his family and pets in a nice way, it says a lot about the person how they treat pets and family.
• Must spoil me in non-expensive ways. ( Show up at my residence with coffee, write love letters, cut my bread/pancakes in heart-shapes, make me dinner, sing to me, even if he is false)

1. Expensive gifts has no effect on me and will not win me over.
2. My love language is Affection- win me over with affection.

• Time. He and I must always make time for each other. It will be called US-TIME!
• Looks do not matter! Looks won't make me happy or keep me warm at night.
• He must be chivalrous. And no, chivalry is not dead! Opening doors and those little details, do indeed count.
• He must adore me.
• He must be my best friend, as well as my man.

My ideal relationship:

1. Do fun stuff together.
2. Never have a hassle to make time for one another.
3. Have inside jokes and lots of them.
4. Spoil each other without expecting something back.
5. Be able to talk openly with each other about everything.
6. Must enjoy life.
7. Have a easy-going attitude about life and love and be CHILLED!
8. We must be able to talk for hours about everything and nothing.
9. We must love each other in spite of our faults and differences.
10. And they lived happily ever after...

THE END.

Also, read my post-Experiences on dating

Please feel free to leave a comment :)

My expectations and experiences of dating

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Source unknown

This song of Natasha Beddingfield- Frogs and princes, perfectly described my experiences and expectations in the dating world.
Here are the lyrics:

"Frogs & Princes"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW8Fs6XEr-o

The in and out of dating got me all confused
I built up expectations and I'm feeling used
Seems that everybody's into fast food,
Everybody's into quick
I want some one to take the time fine dining not rushing

Now it's nearly 7:30, I'm slipping on a dress
I keep my fingers crossed, you're not like all the rest,
So when you come to pick me up come right to my door
Don't stay in your car and beep beep the horn

Baby I'm a hopeless romantic
You pick the sounds for the background to our drive into town
Baby don't be one of the traffic
Had too many nights with the wrong guys
Caught me at red lights

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

Pull up to a premire, red carpet good
You take my coat, get my chair, like I hoped you would
You're funny and your flirting is really working for me
But where it goes from here
Better wait and see

Baby I'm a hopeless romantic
You pick the view to kiss to
Make me go ooo ooo
And baby it'll all turn out tragic
And you'll push for more
Back at my front door
More than I'm ready for

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

You gotta tip the waiter, that's how it works
You cant skip the starter and go straight to desert
You've gotta pop the cork before you taste the wine

is woah,
We get hooked up but the shame is
Too much connection followed by rejections
Gonna hurt a girl 'til she learns her lesson

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

Oh, yeah yeah

Please feel free to leave a comment :)