What to do when a date goes SOUTH

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Has your face ever been like this on a date?

Why am I doing this to myself-face

Say what-face

You're kidding-face

This ain't gonna work-face

Kill me, you're boring-face

Yeah, so we all know that dating can be hard and that it doesn't always go the way we planned or the person was a complete ______. Fill in any word you wish.
I have had many bad dates, where I wish I had Harry Potter's invisible cloak, so I could just disappear, but unfortunately I don't.
Many times, I was forced to ditch the guy and run for it. Apparently, there are better ways of getting rid of the person. I asked a few people for their advice on what you shouldn't do on a date and I turned it around, into what you should do, when trying to get rid of your date.

What to do when the date is going SOUTH

• Honesty is the best policy: tell them you are a serial killer, it will shock them, and afterward they will run away, screaming.
• Plot your ex's death loudly in front of date (Karen du Toit)
• Urgently, jump up and scream you have to go and wash your gold fish (Leanle)
• Eat Buffalo Wings (Leanle),but I'll add: smudge it all over your face and smile with a mouthful of food.
• Spray on so much perfume, that he'll need a gas-mask.
• Have a friend on SOS-call, talking flirty to friend on phone, in front of date. (Jonanke)
• Dig for treasure in your nose. (Ruan)
• Have a few personalities, but just don't be yourself! (Francois & Ruan)
• Flirt with your waiter. (Mizan)
• 'Accidentally' get your food all over him (Mizan)
• Brag about how awesome you are. (Mauruschka)
• Forget all your manners. (Mauruschka)
• Whisper loudly all the things that your date is doing wrong and talk to him/her like nothing is wrong.
• Run into the wall and sit down like nothing happened.
• Laugh uncontrollably, when your date is quiet/saying nothing
• Tell your date that there are more squid than fish in the ocean and walk away.
• Tell them you are a hobo and just wanted free food *walk away.
• Scream at him/her that you will not change for him *run away.
• Last but definitely not least: Climb through the bathroom window and disappear

Some frogs aren't even worth kissing and you should abort mission, while you still can.

Please tell me about the bad dates you had, I would love to hear them!

This bookworm is not happy!

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

I HATE it when I am excited to start reading a book and I spend 2-3 days on this book, just to come to the end and say WTF?

The mysteries: Robert McGill
Rating: 2/10
Genre: Crime fiction

I am crazy about crime fiction. I love to solve the crime with the cops and to keep guessing until the end who the bad guy was.

It took me a few days to read this book, because it was not good writing. It was a 300-pager, meaning I can usually finish it within a day or two (If it is good writing).  I was amped to read this book, because the summary was promising and I love the title!

The summary:

Robert, a young traveller, finds himself in 

the small Ontario town of Sunshine,

in the middle of a party at the town's wildlife park. 

A stranger he picked up on the way has 

given him a dirty yellow notebook and told 

him to give it to an Alice Penderson. 

But Alice disappeared two years ago.

Six months before Robert's arrival , human 

remains have been recovered from the

local shoreline. Stoddart Fremlin has been

arrested on suspicion of murder. Daniel

Barrie, who was having an affair with Alice 

and who left for England immediately after

her disappearance, has unexpectedly 

returned. At the same time Rocket DeWitt,

one of the last people to see Alice alive,

has left town. And amid all this, there is 

a tiger on the loose.

This book didn't grab me in the beginning, which is absolutely crucial for most readers, even me! It took me two days just to get past the first few pages. I told myself to stick it out and try reading further.

There was way too many characters and way too many points of views! I couldn't keep track where the new characters fit into the story, or if they fit in at all? Most characters had NOTHING to do with Alice Penderson, who went missing. They were just filling up pages.
When I came to the end of the book, my reaction was WTF!!! Because the disappearance/murder of the Alice Penderson is still a MYSTERY.  Maybe that is why the book's name is 'The mysteries'. There is no follow-up on this book, I checked!

I am so disappointed that I spent so much time on this book. I could've just read the summary and I would know what happens in the book. Maybe this is an artsy book with deeper meaning and symbolism, but that is not why I read Crime Fiction! I want to solve the case! Not analyze a book! If I want to analyze books, I will go and study English Literature.

I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone. This bookworm by heart is not happy!

Open your mind a bit!

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Every once in a while, I get on my Soapbox and tell people what I really think.

I want to tell people to get with the program! I live in South-Africa and it is infamous for Apartheid that ended 20 years ago. I am 20 years old. Meaning that Apartheid wasn't even part of my life. But what irritates me the most, is people who can't move past it. Every part of their lives that don't go according to plan, is blamed on Apartheid.

If they can't get jobs, Apartheid's fault. If they struggle with education, it's Apartheid's fault... Yes, it happened and it was a bad and awful idea, but to keep holding on to the past, only makes that the past still has the power over you. You have not beaten the past, until you leave it, where it belongs... IN THE PAST!! What baffles my mind more is people the same age as me, who talk about Apartheid, as if they were there. You had half a brain at that time. So, I blame the parents for reliving the past, also for making their past, their children's present and future.

I thank my mom for raising me correctly and teaching me that everyone is equal. She raised me to be open-minded, to be understanding and to leave judgement to others.

No one has a choice of what race they will be. There is no menu for picking what you will look like, but you have a choice of you will become and be. No matter what circumstances you grew up in or how you were raised, you can choose who you become.

Everyone, including me, should stop judging and open our minds more to the Rainbow Nation that we should be.

How can you have so much hate for people, because of their skin color and the claim that you love others?

Gay, straight, black, white and whatever else there is, they are perfect just the way they are. How boring would life be if everyone thought, looked and did the same. I think it would be so boring that we would die at an early age.

To all those who are different in some sort of way.. GOOD FOR YOU!!!

"Why try to fit in, when you were born to stand out?" -Anon.

How NOT to fall asleep in class

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

It is sometimes very hard NOT to fall asleep in class, especially when your lecturer/professor has a one tone voice or they are simply just boring. I still struggle with staying awake in class and my Creative Writing professor started calling me Sleeping Beauty.

My tired roommate after a good night out

Here are some tips to try and stay awake:

• Take ice cold water with you to class and drink it when you are starting to fall asleep.
• Eat in apple in class. It has the same effect as caffeine.
• Try to write down every single word the lecturer/professor says, if they are slow it will be easy, if they talk fast, good luck!
• Stare at someone in your class, until they look back and continue staring. See how long it takes to creep them out or make them shift in their seat. If they continue staring at you, ABORT MISSION!
• Ask irrelevant questions and see how the lecturer reacts.
• Try and draw your lecturer, no matter how bad you are.
• Text everyone you know in class and see who forgot to put their phone on silent.
• Click your pen to irritate people and see who tells you to stop first.
• Hum your favorite tune and enjoy the dirty looks.
• If this didn't help, take a nap. The lecturer must then be really boring!