Soapbox about abuse and relationships.

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

A few months ago, I wrote a post about 'What is abuse?'. Last night, I dreamed that I was back in my past life. I woke up in cold sweat and fear.

I have been thinking about my past life a lot, because I was helping a friend to also get out of her abusive relationship with her boyfriend.
Abuse doesn't only come in a physical form. It is verbal, financial, etc. Go and read this post Things abusers say and do. 
Why am I on my soapbox? Because abuse is NOT OKAY!!!

Everyday on campus, I see couples fighting. My friends tell me what their boyfriends said to them in a fight and all I can think about is ABUSE, ABUSE, MANIPULATION, ABUSE....

I didn't read in textbooks what abuse is. I had firsthand experience. My past life consisted of a verbal abusing, emotional manipulating biological father. At the age of 15, on the 6th December 2008, was the day that I decided NO MORE! I am DONE with being scared. I am DONE with being unhappy! I am DONE honoring my parents, like the Bible says, when my father doesn't honor me! 

A person will never make you fully happy. The right person can only add to your happiness. You have to realize that only you can make yourself happy. My favorite quote of all time is: Happiness is an inside job. -Anon. It took me a while to realize this. 

My first step to happiness in life, was when I chose that I am DONE with being unhappy. 

My baby sister, Mieka, was born on 21 December 2008. Merely, 15 days after I decided to choose happiness. She is my symbol of New Beginnings. She is beautiful and I am glad to call her my sister.

My mom raised me to be strong, to be open-minded and also that I have to determine my own happiness. No man or friend is going to do it for you. 

My mom, the most amazing dad and sister! I love my reconstructed family!

I cannot force my friends to walk out of their relationships, sometimes I wish I could, but everyone has to make that decision for themselves. Fool me once, shame on YOU! Fool me twice, shame on ME! 

This dream I had, really upset me and I thought this soapbox was needed. 

If you have any thoughts or comments, please feel free :)

Cure for being gay?

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

This Millenium Lady is on her soapbox again!

The other day I read an article, which made me chuckle a bit. A mother asked the doctor for advice on how to cure her son for being gay.

Usually the doctor responds to the question, giving advice, but with this article their whole interaction was printed, which I think was brilliant.

(I am paraphrasing, because unfortunately I didn't get to save the article.)

The mother asked the doctor to help her to cure her son from his gayness, because she already had a sort of arranged marriage for her son. She would love for the two of them to get married soon.

The doctor replied that in order for the son to 'recover', she must be a lesbian for 1 month.

The mother was outraged and said that she had been straight her whole life, how could the doctor expect her to be a lesbian for even a day?

Ha-ha, Oh the irony! The doctor then replied and said that her son is gay, he has been his whole life, how can she expect him to be straight for even one day?

The mother didn't reply after that. I hope she realized that her son is gay and she should accept him for who he is. But the doctor really handled it well and she sure made a good argument.

Open your mind a bit!

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Every once in a while, I get on my Soapbox and tell people what I really think.

I want to tell people to get with the program! I live in South-Africa and it is infamous for Apartheid that ended 20 years ago. I am 20 years old. Meaning that Apartheid wasn't even part of my life. But what irritates me the most, is people who can't move past it. Every part of their lives that don't go according to plan, is blamed on Apartheid.

If they can't get jobs, Apartheid's fault. If they struggle with education, it's Apartheid's fault... Yes, it happened and it was a bad and awful idea, but to keep holding on to the past, only makes that the past still has the power over you. You have not beaten the past, until you leave it, where it belongs... IN THE PAST!! What baffles my mind more is people the same age as me, who talk about Apartheid, as if they were there. You had half a brain at that time. So, I blame the parents for reliving the past, also for making their past, their children's present and future.

I thank my mom for raising me correctly and teaching me that everyone is equal. She raised me to be open-minded, to be understanding and to leave judgement to others.

No one has a choice of what race they will be. There is no menu for picking what you will look like, but you have a choice of you will become and be. No matter what circumstances you grew up in or how you were raised, you can choose who you become.

Everyone, including me, should stop judging and open our minds more to the Rainbow Nation that we should be.

How can you have so much hate for people, because of their skin color and the claim that you love others?

Gay, straight, black, white and whatever else there is, they are perfect just the way they are. How boring would life be if everyone thought, looked and did the same. I think it would be so boring that we would die at an early age.

To all those who are different in some sort of way.. GOOD FOR YOU!!!

"Why try to fit in, when you were born to stand out?" -Anon.

What is abuse?

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Soapbox Saturday.

Everyday on campus I see different forms of abuse. I see it when couples are fighting, when I hear about arguments my friends and their boyfriends had.

Abuse doesn't come in just a physical abuse form, but in many other forms. I read this wonderful article that defined most of the forms, which abuse comes in. Things abusers say and do. Click on this link to see the article.

SPCA- Beautiful poodle saved from abusive home

Abuse is not okay! The person who is abusing you will not change! EVER! No matter what they promise or do, a leopard never changes its spots. I speak out of experience and I definitely got the T-shirt.

If you are in an abusive relationship or know someone who is, here is Contacts to assist you.

Please feel free to leave a comment :)