Disney and THE ONE...

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Constantly looking for the One around every corner and turn? Well, I say stop it!

"What? Are you serious?
You expect me to sit
around and wait for
some guy to come and
save me? I'm going to
law school in August
and as soon as I'm out of
this dump I'm reporting
my stepsisters  and
stepmother to the police
for harassment and slave labour.

I remember when I was younger, I used to dress up to go to the mall, thinking that there will be lots of hot guys and maybe, just maybe one of them will ask my number. Forgetting to enjoy the moment with my friends or family.

In high school, you believed the guy you are dating will be the One. You held on to them for dear life, believing you won't find another.

At university, every guy you even talk to, you do that thing where you imagine how it would be to be with them. Maybe even envision marriage. Believing there is only one ONE! Scary, ain't it?

I blame Disney for this lame belief. The belief that you HAVE to find the one when you are young. The belief that only a prince/man can save you. How about saving yourself, being your own hero?

Guess what? There are multiple ONE's! There are like 20 in your country, one in France, one in Ireland, like 1 million in America and 1 billion in China, who will be THE ONE for you.
How you meet people is about location, for instance you won't meet the one who is in China, if you are in South Africa. It is about the same interests, it is about timing, etc...
And the best part is, you will find one another when the time is right and your paths cross. It might be when you are 17 or when you are 31, who knows? And who worries????

I have so much that I still want to do before I meet my soulmate. I am not ready to meet them. I want to travel the world, live in my own place and I want to get a good job, before I meet the guy. But my interests differ from other people and I get that. I just want to make sure that I am making the right choice before I commit to a lifetime decision.

Do you even know what feminism means?

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

I got quite upset, when I had a conversation the other day with a woman. The conversation was about how she preferred female doctors, dentists, etc. An then into the mix she threw in the phrase:
"But I am not a feminist."

I then asked her what she means by that. She said that she meant that she doesn't hate men. I then had to educate her that feminism is not man-hating. It is simply about women seeking equal rights to men.

Here is the definition: Feminism (Concise Oxford English Dictionary, 2011: 522): "The advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of sexual equality".
Usually, when people say they are feminists, it gets linked to man-hating. But quite frankly, I like men a lot. A LOT! If this doesn't make sense, here is a picture:

This is what feminists are fighting for

I am a feminist, because:

• I believe I should earn the same money as a man doing the same work as me.

NOT THIS!

THIS!

• I believe that children can be raised to be literally ANYTHING they want to be, even if my son wants to be a ballerina. 
• I believe there are no gender roles, for example, women belong in the kitchen. (BULL!)
• I can do anything a man can.
• I believe it is fine if a boy wants to cry and it is fine if he is in touch with emotions.
• I believe a girl can play with cars and become a mechanic if she wants to.
• I believe in gender equality, in each and every aspect. 

I only recently discovered that there is a word for how I felt, when ladies complained that men don't open doors for them, but they won't do it for the men. It infuriated me. If you are not willing to open doors for men, why should they open it for you? I even open doors for girls, it's called common decency. 

It infuriates me when women, who are promiscuous are seen as sluts, whores, or whatever other names there are, but men are seen as legends.

But it it doesn't help talking about it and not doing anything about it. We should be the change we want to see. We should be the difference. We should raise our kids to be blind to race, so racism will be a thing of the past. We should raise them to become anything, because we never laughed at their ideas if they wanted to become something that is not according to their gender. WE should let them wear anything and play with anything they choose. We should let boys cry and girls be able to be strong or any way they choose to be! This is how we will reach gender equality. Women and men can be feminists, if you believe in gender equality. Please watch this video of Emma Watson launching the He For She campaign.

“How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!”
― Maya Angelou

“We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.”
― Gloria Steinem

I am a Feminist.

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Feminism (Concise Oxford English Dictionary, 2011: 522): "The advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of sexual equality".
Usually, when people say they are feminists, it gets linked to man-hating. But quite frankly, I like men a lot.

I am a feminist, because:

• I believe I should earn the same money as a man doing the same work as me
• I believe that children can be raised to be literally ANYTHING they want to be, even if my son wants to be a ballerina. 
• I believe there are no gender roles, for example, women belong in the kitchen. (BULL!)
• I can do anything a man can.
• I believe it is fine if a boy wants to cry and it is fine if he is in touch with emotions.
• I believe a girl can play with cars and become a mechanic if she wants to.
• I believe in gender equality, in each and every aspect. 

I only recently discovered that there is a word for how I felt, when ladies complained that men don't open doors for them, but they won't do it for the men. It infuriated me. If you are not willing to open doors for men, why should they open it for you? I even open doors for girls, it's called common decency. 

It infuriates me when women, who are promiscuous are seen as sluts, whores, or whatever other names there are, but men are seen as legends.

But it it doesn't help talking about it and not doing anything about it. We should be the change we want to see. We should be the difference. We should raise our kids to be blind to race, so racism will be a thing of the past. We should raise them to become anything, because we never laughed at their ideas if they wanted to become something that is not according to their gender. WE should let them wear anything and play with anything they choose. We should let boys cry and girls be able to be strong or any way they choose to be! This is how we will reach gender equality. Women and men can be feminists, if you believe in gender equality. Please watch this video of Emma Watson launching the He For She campaign. 

If you cannot see the video please click here. 

She is one amazing woman, and I hope she accomplishes everything that she wants. I believe she will make a big difference. 

Are you a feminist? If not, why? I would love to hear your thoughts about this.