What to do when a date goes SOUTH

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Has your face ever been like this on a date?

Why am I doing this to myself-face

Say what-face

You're kidding-face

This ain't gonna work-face

Kill me, you're boring-face

Yeah, so we all know that dating can be hard and that it doesn't always go the way we planned or the person was a complete ______. Fill in any word you wish.
I have had many bad dates, where I wish I had Harry Potter's invisible cloak, so I could just disappear, but unfortunately I don't.
Many times, I was forced to ditch the guy and run for it. Apparently, there are better ways of getting rid of the person. I asked a few people for their advice on what you shouldn't do on a date and I turned it around, into what you should do, when trying to get rid of your date.

What to do when the date is going SOUTH

• Honesty is the best policy: tell them you are a serial killer, it will shock them, and afterward they will run away, screaming.
• Plot your ex's death loudly in front of date (Karen du Toit)
• Urgently, jump up and scream you have to go and wash your gold fish (Leanle)
• Eat Buffalo Wings (Leanle),but I'll add: smudge it all over your face and smile with a mouthful of food.
• Spray on so much perfume, that he'll need a gas-mask.
• Have a friend on SOS-call, talking flirty to friend on phone, in front of date. (Jonanke)
• Dig for treasure in your nose. (Ruan)
• Have a few personalities, but just don't be yourself! (Francois & Ruan)
• Flirt with your waiter. (Mizan)
• 'Accidentally' get your food all over him (Mizan)
• Brag about how awesome you are. (Mauruschka)
• Forget all your manners. (Mauruschka)
• Whisper loudly all the things that your date is doing wrong and talk to him/her like nothing is wrong.
• Run into the wall and sit down like nothing happened.
• Laugh uncontrollably, when your date is quiet/saying nothing
• Tell your date that there are more squid than fish in the ocean and walk away.
• Tell them you are a hobo and just wanted free food *walk away.
• Scream at him/her that you will not change for him *run away.
• Last but definitely not least: Climb through the bathroom window and disappear

Some frogs aren't even worth kissing and you should abort mission, while you still can.

Please tell me about the bad dates you had, I would love to hear them!