Expectation vs Reality of turning 21

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

In a week, I'm turning 21. 21 21 21! I cannot believe it. But the scary thing is, I don't feel 21, I still feel like the little tomboy from school. I used to collect bugs and play in the mud, and I hated dresses. Growing up, I had a lot of expectations of what 21 should feel like, but like we all know life never really is the way you expected it to be and in some ways you are glad that it didn't meet up with your expectations.

21st party of a friend

My expectations were that I would have directions in life. I expected that I would know exactly what job and house I would have. that I would know who I'd marry and my future would lay crystal clear in front of me. When I was a lot younger, I expected at the age of 21, I would be an old widow or something. I even thought at some point that I would have children by this time. I thought that I would still be friends with all the people, who were my friends in school. I thought that I would be done studying and on my way to my dream job. AND THEN LIFE LAUGHED IN MY FACE AND SAID: That's not what I have in store.

My reality is this: I have no idea where I want to be in life. Next year, I still want to study something, so the job part has to wait. I am thinking about doing my honors in Communication or attending a business school at the university. The house part has to wait (obviously). My future is not crystal clear in front of me, in fact, it is like a birthday cake smudged in a little boy's face. 

I always thought that I would know who the ONE is, who I'd marry, when I was 21. But then life taught me that there are multiple ONE's. Many fish in the sea. Whatever you want to call it. I'm also not ready to marry and start my life with someone. I first have to know myself and I first have to do all the things I wanted to do, before I start my life with someone. I still want to travel the world, experience the world and look after myself. So it's chilled vibes about meeting Prince Charming, The ONE, The fish in the sea... WHATEVER.

Turning 21 in a week, I am not yet a widow. Unless, something happens this week, like I get marries, grow very old in a few days and then he dies before Sunday. Then the possibility is there that I could be a widow and very old.

After my sister was born, I realized that no way in hell I would have children before the age of 30! I am 21, still a few years to go. Phew! 

Friends come and go, but you always like to believe that they would be your BFF (Best Friends Forever). I had many friends in school and we had good times, but after school everyone went their own course and we lead different lives. I have a handful of friends, who have always been there. Come hell or high water, they stuck it out and I really cherish these friendships. They are all I need. 

Yes, life laughed in my face about my expectations, but I'm still happy with how things worked out and I couldn't ask for better. I really feel privileged to lead the life that I'm living. Have I been making to much of a deal of turning 21 or is it society, who puts such a big expectation on it.