So social media has been abuzz about Ammiël Smith. A guy standing at a traffic light and saying that he is looking for THE ONE. A 23-year old man. It was a plain and simple request until Wapad (our university newspaper) interviewed him.
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| "Looking for THE ONE. No old ladies or chancers (opportunists)." |
1. Why did you decide to seek for a wife in this manner?
I have been struggling too long to find the perfect woman. It does not help to look for them in pubs, because even Cinderella looks pretty there.
You are 23, sonny boy! There is plenty of time to find her and BY THE WAY Cinderella is gorgeous and married a prince. But you aren't, so you'll be marrying Cruella de Ville.
2. Describe your perfect woman?
She must be tall and firm and must like training (keeping fit). On our first date, I will make her run 5 kilometers. If she gets tired after 1 kilometer, I will disqualify her. She must be naturally beautiful and have long hair. It is important for people to realize that you cannot change the way you look, therefore you must choose someone with good genes.
I hope you get the girl, who is fit and naturally beautiful, but that she has a crappy personality so that in the night when the lights are off, you have absolutely nothing to talk about. Except for maybe how the gym was and how healthy you ate that day. I AM SURE YOU WILL BE REAL HAPPY.
3. Is there an aspect that will be a dealbreaker?
Yes, if she has babies or is (has been) in jail.
Liar. There are more things like: If she is not pretty. If she is not fit. If she isn't tall, firm and active. If she doesn't have long hair. If she has bad genes.
4. Why haven't you found her yet?
Because I am quite skinny and I heard that women feel safer around bigger guys.
Also, because I am shallow. Personality doesn't matter to me and most girls are nice, but I don't want nice. I just want beautiful.
5. What makes you the ideal man?
I am clever, I can dance well, I have a good heart and will treat my wife like a princess everyday.
I am glad you have a good heart. At least, you won't die from heart attacks, must be from being so fit. How do you know that you are clever? Maybe clever on how to be shallow, but you haven't learned much from life, if good looks and fitness is your main quality traits you want in a woman. And why will you only treat her like a princess, when she can be treated like a queen?
6. You are still young, why are you looking for her now?
I also want to go on romantic cruises and I don't enjoy making food for myself.
Nobody wants to go on cruises when they are 40 or 50, right? So, you HAVE to do it when you are 23 or 24. THAT IS THE RULES OF ROMANTIC CRUISES, guys and girls. And every woman JUST LOVES to make food for her man, right. Yes, what an honor it will be.
7. What is the worst love experience that you had to make through?
A girl and I were kissing and I started laughing, and our teeth clashed. My friends and I started talking of Tooth instead of kissing. For example "I toothed a girl last night."
Wow. That must have been so bad. You are the relationship guru after such an experience. No wonder you are looking for THE ONE, after THAT traumatic experience.
8. What is your answer when people say you look desperate?
You post selfies, get a life!
You are so creative. Guess shallowness does make you creative.
9. Did you expect so much reaction?
No, but now I don't know who to choose. All that I am going to say is never trust a girl's Profile picture. I was almost caught in the trap.
Run as fast as you can, women, it's a trap.
10. What must a girl do to stand out above the rest?
She must get my jokes. It's always awkward if you have to tell a joke twice.
Maybe you should get better jokes, ever considered that?
11. How can people who are interested contact you?
They can inbox me. Please start your message with: "I weigh _____kg."
I weigh as much as your big, fat head.
To Mr. Ammiël Smith, I hope you find EXACTLY what you are looking for. Maybe she'll be just as shallow as you. The question is, will you then make all her requirements?
1 comment:
This sounds like one of those guys who should be on one episode of 'Next', it's a dumb dating show, really funny and stupid.
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