Soapbox about abuse and relationships.

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

A few months ago, I wrote a post about 'What is abuse?'. Last night, I dreamed that I was back in my past life. I woke up in cold sweat and fear.

I have been thinking about my past life a lot, because I was helping a friend to also get out of her abusive relationship with her boyfriend.
Abuse doesn't only come in a physical form. It is verbal, financial, etc. Go and read this post Things abusers say and do. 
Why am I on my soapbox? Because abuse is NOT OKAY!!!

Everyday on campus, I see couples fighting. My friends tell me what their boyfriends said to them in a fight and all I can think about is ABUSE, ABUSE, MANIPULATION, ABUSE....

I didn't read in textbooks what abuse is. I had firsthand experience. My past life consisted of a verbal abusing, emotional manipulating biological father. At the age of 15, on the 6th December 2008, was the day that I decided NO MORE! I am DONE with being scared. I am DONE with being unhappy! I am DONE honoring my parents, like the Bible says, when my father doesn't honor me! 

A person will never make you fully happy. The right person can only add to your happiness. You have to realize that only you can make yourself happy. My favorite quote of all time is: Happiness is an inside job. -Anon. It took me a while to realize this. 

My first step to happiness in life, was when I chose that I am DONE with being unhappy. 

My baby sister, Mieka, was born on 21 December 2008. Merely, 15 days after I decided to choose happiness. She is my symbol of New Beginnings. She is beautiful and I am glad to call her my sister.

My mom raised me to be strong, to be open-minded and also that I have to determine my own happiness. No man or friend is going to do it for you. 

My mom, the most amazing dad and sister! I love my reconstructed family!

I cannot force my friends to walk out of their relationships, sometimes I wish I could, but everyone has to make that decision for themselves. Fool me once, shame on YOU! Fool me twice, shame on ME! 

This dream I had, really upset me and I thought this soapbox was needed. 

If you have any thoughts or comments, please feel free :)

What boredom does...

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

So, I'm bored and stole this from Mizan's blog. It's called the 50 random questions tag.

1.   Where were you 3 hours ago? At my garnny's house

2.   Who are you in love with? I'm in love with happiness.

3.   Have you ever eaten a crayon? Yes, yes I have. It is my staple food

4.   Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? My babysister's toys 

5.   When is the last time you went to the mall? A week ago

6.   Are you wearing socks right now? No, I'm wearing awesomeness

7.   Does your family have a car worth over $2,000? I believe so?

8.   When was the last time you went out of town? Wednesday, when I came home?

9.   Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? No, not even in the last 5 months :(

10. Are you hot? I'm cool...

11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Windmill sherry 

12. What are you wearing right now? Clothes

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it? Casper washes it in the imaginary world!

14. Last food you ate? My granny's amazing food

15. Where were you last week at this time? At university, missing home

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? Yes!

17. When is the last time you ran? I ran out of toothpaste today?

18. What's the last sporting event you watched? Watched my sister doing gymnastics yesterday?

19. What is your favorite animal? A tiger

20. Your dream vacation? The Kruger National Park

21. Last person's house you were in? My Granny's house

22. Worst injury you've ever had? Probably when I cut my pinky with a knife

23. Have you been in love? Who hasn't?

24. Do you miss anyone right now? I ain't aiming right now...

25. Last musical you saw? Sleeping beauty in December

26. What's your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Candy usually works.

27. What are your plans for tonight? Rooiwyn Sondag

28. Who is the last person you sent a Facebook message or comment? My mom :)

29. Next trip you are going to take? A roadtrip to my kitchen for food

30. Ever go to camp? Yes

31. Were you an honor roll student in school? Yes, I was the best roller down an embankment

32. What do you want to know about the future? If there will be flying cars

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne? Yes, garlic... Mmmm....

34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit? Yes, if my sister decides to play doctor-doctor...

35. Where is your best friend? Only a few kilometers away...

36. How is your best friend? She is an amazing person that is why we are friends

37. Do you have a tan? Casper is my best friend.. He thinks we are the same race...

38. What are you listening to right now? My sister moaning and throwing tantrums

39. Do you collect anything? Happiness and memories

40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know? Heat magazine

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over? Casper will know, he drives around in my car in my imaginary car...

42. Do you drink your soda with a straw? With straws

43. What does your last text message say? :D- Melanie

44. Do you like hot sauce? I am the hot sauce, so yes, I like myself!

45. Last time you took a shower? This morning

46. Do you need to do laundry? What is laundry?

47. What is your heritage? South African? Dutch?

48.  Are you someone's best friend? Casper the friendly ghost

49. Are you rich? In happiness

50. What were you doing at 12AM last night? I was travelling the world.

Earth Hour

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Yesterday, the 29th of March was Earth Hour. Earth Hour is where you switch off your electricity or just lights to save the Earth little by little! Every little bit helps, your daily effort to save power is also making a difference.

We started out outside

We planned to watch the stars, during Earth Hour, but it is Autumn here in South-Africa and it gets quite chilly once the sun goes down. Our plans soon changed and we made a Christmas bed inside!

The flash is too bright in the dark

Take #2- dog included

It is fun to take part in an initiative, which is happening all over the world. 

What did you do during Earth Hour?

The most beautiful wedding

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Last night, my eldest nephew got married. It was literally THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WEDDING EVER!!!!!!!! My sister was also the flower girl and she looked absolutely gorgeous!

Flower girl still waking up, while hair is being done

Flower girl posing for photos

The table settings

Flower girls walking down pathway

The beautiful bride, Bronwyn.

The kiss that seals the deal

3 nephews and the niece

Photobooth fun!

It was the best wedding that I attended so far, it was a fairy tale! I better start to save if I want a wedding like this. Everything was just perfect.

Playing dress-up

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Being in a dormitory, we always have themes to dress-up to. I absolutely love it to scratch around in my closet and come up with something for the theme.

Superheroes

P-party

Stewardesses

Vintage 21st

Cowboy 21st

Japan and Russia

What are great themes to also dress-up to? I am looking for ideas for my 21st...

Cancer awareness

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

If you have been on social media the last few days, you will know about the 'No make-up selfies' that has made a storm, especially on Facebook. These 'No make-up selfies' are to create awareness about cancer.

Here is my 'No make-up selfie'

A few years ago, I detected a lump in my breast. Very scary thing to discover at the age of 16. We went to a gynecologist, who told me it is nothing to worry about and I never have to return again. He never told us what it was, only sending us in a deeper panic!

We later ended up at a breast doctor, Dr. Carol Ann Benn, who is absolutely amazing. She is an expert in Breast health (Contact them if you ever detect a lump). She then told us that we should absolutely come back at least every six months to have a check-up. Turns out it is a Fibroadenoma (Click on the name to find out more), it is benign.

Please, if you ever detect a lump, go and check it out! Do not diagnose yourself!

Have you posted your 'No make-up selfie'?

Happy 21st!

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

(This post is in Afrikaans and written for my best friend)

Liefste Melanie,

Die eerste dag wat ek jou ontmoet het, was die dag toe my lewe (onwetend) drasties sou verander. Twee awesome Graad Eentjies.
Dit het als begin by n sonpaneel sakrekenaar,
wat nie jou nommer aan die einde van die dag,
wou stoor nie. My hart was in stukke.

Ek sal nooit jou "Malkoei" drama-opvoering op die Voortrekker kamp vergeet nie,
Dis wat n mens noem; PRICELESS!

Hier is ons vandag, 14 jaar later, steeds vriendinne.
Maande gaan verby wat ons mekaar soms nie kan sien nie,
maar ons kekkel dan soos hoenders, wanneer ons mekaar weer sien.

Ek kan nie my lewe sonder jou in dink nie!

Jy is my woorde, wanneer ek nie kan praat nie.
Jy is die lag en die sonskyn vriendin, wat almal verdien.
Jy is 21 vandag.

Dankie vir jou vriendskap deur al die jare.
Mag ek en jy eendag met vals tande, nogsteeds stry oor wie s'n witter is.
Mag ek en jy mekaar eendag op rolstoele,
mekaar rondjaag in die gange van n ouetehuis.
Mag ek en jy lewenslank vriendinne bly.

Mag ek en jy altyd so MAL wees!

Jy weet wat nou gaan volg: 
(Warm gou stem op)

Singing don't worry about a thing,
'cause every little thing is gonna be allright!
(Sing it Ernie)

Singing don't worry about a thing,
'cause every little thing is gonna be allright!
(Sing it Bernie)

The holiday mood is falling over campus

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

This morning I was walking on campus and was shocked to see this...

Why, would you ask? Because usually I have to push through the crowd of students to get past them. They are usually waiting for classes to start here and this morning, there was not a soul in sight! The university closes on the 28th of March, but it seems that this memo didn't reach everyone, or they decided to extend their long weekend.

I must admit, the holiday mood is creeping slowly into my bones! I struggle to get up in the mornings and I am missing my parents' food! I want to sleep late and enjoy the holiday vibes! Only a few more days, where I have to survive on my own food and getting up early.

This has been a hectic quarter and the work is still pilling up for my second quarter, so I think a holiday is in order.

“After all, the best part of a holiday is perhaps not so much to be resting yourself, as to see all the other fellows busy working.” 
― Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows

How will you spend your holiday? Me? I'll be on the couch watching mindless TV...

Canvas in the subway

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Yesterday, we had Canvas at the university. We paint the subways on campus, to brighten them up. It was the first time that we could paint at the engineering campus' subway, because it is still relatively new. I am not an artist, but our residence decided to have a support team, so me and my friend could also participate! The theme for this year was The equilibrium of opposites.

Beginning our shift as the support team

The start of the canvas

Me with the end-result

Our canvas is two owls, but if you look closely you can see the Ying-Yan sign in the owls. It came out beautifully!

My favorite canvas

We had a lot of fun as the support team. Next year, I'm doing this again!

Sending letters

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Yesterday, I had sent my first handwritten letter! Francois Maritz has come up with this idea and I think it is wonderful.

My first letter

This is about feeling the pen and paper, licking the envelope to close it, about using postage stamps. We are experiencing the true feeling of writing again. If you are in South-Africa and would like to join this pen pal group, you can email me at kiara.oosthuizen@gmail.com and I will fill you in on all the details!

Decorating the corridors

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

Every year, in the dormitory we have a corridor-decorating weekend. This year, we decided to have a farm/cowboy theme for the corridor, which I live on. Here are some photos of the end result.

Me and my roommate's photo on our door

Our name board

Everyone living on the corridor's photos, pinned up in the corridor

The birthday board

The painting in our recreation room

Our washroom

Decorations in the windows

Our telephone room

It was so much fun in taking part in decorating the corridor and the results are very beautiful.

Campus is like a zoo.

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

I think I am studying on the most interesting campus ever, not because of the people but because of the animals. We have monkeys, cats and chickens on campus. After the rains, the monkeys were playing on the grass and they chased away the chickens. I didn't get the action on camera, but I atleast got a few photos.

Playing with other monkeys

The chicken, who ran away from them

Monkey looking for the chicken

At first, I was against the monkeys being on campus, but I must say they really make my day sometimes. They are pretty cool. The cats and chickens are very scared of them, so we don't see them so much anymore. Yes, campus is like a zoo with all these animals.

Age is just a number

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

So, every year on the 12th of March a special woman celebrates her birthday. I call her Mom. They say it's her birthday every year, but I don't believe it. My mom doesn't age, she only becomes more beautiful.

Mom, happy birthday! You are a true blessing and my primary role model! You are my Power Woman. You have showed me that life is only as tough as you make it. You have also taught me that happiness is an inside job. Sitting around and waiting for someone to make you happy is only gonna play out in unhappiness.

We have been through pretty tough times, but I would never ask for a do-over, because I am happy with my present, in which I live now.

You have done so much for me, a thank-you will never be enough, but I am grateful for the manner that you have raised me. You are the best parent ever. Thanks for always being there and being the example of how every parent should be.
THANK YOU!

I hope you have an awesome day. I love you, mom.

Random photoshoot

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

We were busy taking photo's for the corridor that I stay in (it is a tradition to decorate the corridors), when me and my friends decided we can just as well have a photo shoot, because we are dressed up. The theme was farm/cowboy. (It's open for interpretation)

Me and roomie

Selfie!

Peek-a-boo

Sisterly love

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

A picture speaks a thousand words, but I love my baby sis!