Monday, March 31, 2014

Soapbox about abuse and relationships.

By Arnia Kiara Oosthuizen

A few months ago, I wrote a post about 'What is abuse?'. Last night, I dreamed that I was back in my past life. I woke up in cold sweat and fear.

I have been thinking about my past life a lot, because I was helping a friend to also get out of her abusive relationship with her boyfriend.
Abuse doesn't only come in a physical form. It is verbal, financial, etc. Go and read this post Things abusers say and do
Why am I on my soapbox? Because abuse is NOT OKAY!!!
Everyday on campus, I see couples fighting. My friends tell me what their boyfriends said to them in a fight and all I can think about is ABUSE, ABUSE, MANIPULATION, ABUSE....

I didn't read in textbooks what abuse is. I had firsthand experience. My past life consisted of a verbal abusing, emotional manipulating biological father. At the age of 15, on the 6th December 2008, was the day that I decided NO MORE! I am DONE with being scared. I am DONE with being unhappy! I am DONE honoring my parents, like the Bible says, when my father doesn't honor me! 

A person will never make you fully happy. The right person can only add to your happiness. You have to realize that only you can make yourself happy. My favorite quote of all time is: Happiness is an inside job. -Anon. It took me a while to realize this. 

My first step to happiness in life, was when I chose that I am DONE with being unhappy. 

My baby sister, Mieka, was born on 21 December 2008. Merely, 15 days after I decided to choose happiness. She is my symbol of New Beginnings. She is beautiful and I am glad to call her my sister.

My mom raised me to be strong, to be open-minded and also that I have to determine my own happiness. No man or friend is going to do it for you. 

My mom, the most amazing dad and sister! I love my reconstructed family!

I cannot force my friends to walk out of their relationships, sometimes I wish I could, but everyone has to make that decision for themselves. Fool me once, shame on YOU! Fool me twice, shame on ME! 

This dream I had, really upset me and I thought this soapbox was needed. 
If you have any thoughts or comments, please feel free :)

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Glad you finally realised that happiness is an inside job. You should make your own "F***** it bucket" so you can write this on a piece of paper and throw it in the bucket then say "F***** it" as you throw it in. Don't worry about the neighbours hearing you. It's really the best therapy. You can throw in any unhappiness in that bucket. When it's full, burn all the papers in that bucket then start over. It's your choice to make this bucket, I'm not forcing you, just giving you an idea.

Millenium Lady said...

I like that idea a lot!